What duties do adult children have to their parents?

Jane English (1979) --  “What do grown children owe their parents?” 


Duties that arise from debt 
Duties that arise from friendship
Which type of duty do adult children have to their parents?

Duties that arise from debt

• Max asks Nina to take in his mail while he's on vacation; she agrees.  Later, Nina asks Max to do the same.
• Max owes it to Nina to take in her mail.  After he reciprocates, his debt has been discharged
• Without being asked, Nina mows his lawn while Max is gone. No duty of debt. It would just be nice if he did the same for her.  It would be "supererogatory" and not "required."
• Duties of debt are "balanced"--original favor determines size of later repayment

Duties that arise from friendship

• Alfred pays for Beatrice's dinner--she owes him no affection in return.
• These duties disappear when the friendship is over.  
• Elmer gave his wife Doris a pint of blood and later they divorced.  She doesn't owe him a pint of blood when he needs it after the divorce.

English:  grown children have no duties to their parents that arise from debt

• Parents help children without being asked--like the lawn case, not the mail case
• Evidence there is no duty of debt--grown children's duties are not "balanced"
• Case of Cecile (easy child, later a close by wealthy lawyer) and Dana (hard child, later a distant struggling artist).  On the debt account Dana would owe more, but she doesn't.
• Adopted children would owe something to their biological parents, if the debt view was right

English: grown children do have duties of friendship to their parents, for as long as the friendship lasts

• Parents should not say, "You ought to do x because we did y for you"
• They should just appeal to the child's love for them
• When the love is gone, the duties are gone
• Story of Vance: "no obligation to pay his parents' medical bills in their old age, beyond his general duty to help those in need" (p. 407)

How would English see Veda in Mildred Pierce? 

1. Does adult Veda owe her mother anything in return for her mother's devotion and sacrifice?
2. Does adult Veda owe her mother a duty of friendship?
3. If Veda has no special duties to Mildred, does she have general duties?  Does she violate them?

Do you agree with English?

• Do adult children have duties to their parents, if the friendship is over?
• If so, is it based on debt?  What is it based upon?
• Mother sues child for elder support -- here

Mildred Pierce in its own terms (1945)

1. Messages about motherhood, and work
2. Messages about parenthood, spoiling, mother love
3. Messages about race and class
4. Messages about divorce